Methods Of Discipleship- 1:1 Discipleship
Tip, Encouragement and How To
In my last post I shared how to incorporate discipleship into your everyday life. In this new series- Methods Of Discipleship- I want to share about different methods of discipleship that Believers and churches can (and should!) be using. (Doing??). I want to reiterate that I’m speaking from my own personal experience of a lifetime of mission work, outreach, church ministry and Bible study. You or your church may have a different form of successful discipleship not mentioned here that you are doing and that’s great! (I’d love to hear about it in the comments!)
1:1 Discipleship
When most people picture discipleship they think of formal small groups and Bible studies. They picture Jesus and his teaching his group of disciples. 1 to 1 discipleship is many times overlooked and it is a powerful method of creating spiritual growth and furthering the kingdom of God. It can many times, surprisingly, require more intentionality and work over your typical weekly small group. It can be frustrating and inconvenient. It involves getting into someone’s “messy”. It requires availability, sacrifice and flexibility. All things that are uncomfortable for us and not always fun! But 1:1 discipleship is so SO worth it. This method of discipleship is great for a “ Jesus curious” person, a seeker, brand new Christian or a Believer who has experienced church hurt or trauma. This is also assuming that you, The Believer, are pursuing authentic relationships with non-Christians, seekers and hurting Believers. (As you should!). Remember, we are modeling the way Jesus did relationships. He wasn’t just checking off boxes. He was investing, loving and changing lives. This means you are keeping open eyes and open hearts to people God puts in your path. You aren’t waiting for them to get “cleaned up” before you start investing in them. This means meeting someone where they are. Loving them. Listening to them. Making yourself available to them. Being a safe space to ask questions. Meet them for coffee. Have them over for dinner. Be there in times of crisis. Joyfully help them out in a practical manner such as babysitting, a meal, a ride to an appointment or helping them clean their house during a season of depression or loss. When they share their struggles tell them you are praying for them! Even if they don’t actually believe in prayer. Let them see God working in your life. Share your REAL self with them, not just the cleaned up perfect Christian version. Show them you aren’t perfect but a sinner saved by grace who needs that grace over and over again. When it comes to a non-Believer start conversations about their world-view. Ask them what they think their purpose in life is. Slowly begin to share the gospel with them as you build that relationship. Remember that because they don’t have the Holy Spirit residing in them yet they aren’t going to see sin the way you do. Pointing out sin in their lives and expecting them to immediately change without the help of the Holy Spirit will not work. This next statement may seem shocking or blasphemous so start clutching your pearls *wink wink*:
Sometimes, immediately inviting them to church is NOT, in fact, the right thing to do.
Building the relationship before inviting them to church is more important. The unchurched have no idea what a thriving, growing, Bible teaching, freedom in Christ, grace filled church environment looks like. (And sadly, as an aside, neither do some Christians! But that’s a discussion for another day). They usually have faulty, preconceived notions. Hasty invitations to church can create another barrier. This is where spiritual discernment comes in. Pointing them to Jesus, his love, his grace and his mercy is the most important thing. Sanctification will come after.
1:1 Discipleship Practical Tips:
Pray that God puts people in your path for 1:1 discipleship.
Pray for authentic compassion and caring for the person and what they have going on in their lives.
Create margin in your life to invest in this person. This could mean saying “no” to other things and being more intentional with your schedule.
Spend time getting to know them, their situation and their beliefs.
Find out their “why”. Why do they believe what they believe. What led them to that belief. Is there a hurt that drives them? What is their faith background? You may have to slowly deconstruct their misinformed view of Christianity, the Bible and who Jesus was. Satan is the father of lies and wants nothing more than for people to be ignorant of what the Bible really says and what following Christ is all about. If you are dealing with a disillusioned Christian who has experienced church hurt and wants to walk away from the whole thing it will take a lot of compassion, investment and pointing them to Scripture and Jesus’ love and purpose for their lives. Reminder: You and I are not the Holy Spirit! Let the Holy Spirit do His work!
Invest in their life practically. How can you be the hands and feet of Jesus in their life? You have to legitimately care about what is going on in their life.
Live out your relationship with God in front of them. Let them see Jesus working in your life. Offer to stop and pray for them in the middle of a conversation about a struggle they are having. Tell them how God worked in your life when you struggled with something similar. Relate and be relatable to the best of your ability.
I hope you find these suggestions helpful. I’d love to hear from you in the comments or on Instagram at @cultivatingthecalled. What else would you add?
If you decide to implement any of these I’d love to hear from you on how it’s going.
For the Calling,
Melissa
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